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  • Brenda Edwards

It's Situational

Sometimes when we make certain rules or boundaries for ourselves that we think we need to go by, whether it is for ourselves, family, clients, or any other circumstance in our life, it can box us into a corner. It can feel rigid, especially if you’re not used to making boundaries. I feel we need to exercise caution when drawing a line in the sand. It shouldn't be black or white. I believe it is situational. The minute you say I’ll never do something, no exceptions, that is an invitation from the universe to teach you something. You will continue to draw in those experiences guiding you to make an exception. The best way to proceed is to set your boundaries by still staying a little fluid as each person or situation may be a little different. This is important, especially in business.


I'll give you some examples to sit with. You have set hours for your business, yet you have a client that's really in need grieving a death of a family member. It's apparent that she can't wait three weeks for an appointment for therapy. Do you find a space to accommodate her or do you make her wait three weeks? Someone can't afford your exact price for your service. Do you let her pay on a sliding scale or are you willing to let her make payments? A friend asks you to lunch at the last minute and you promised yourself you would take a walk as you need to exercise daily. What do you do? Do you break the promise to yourself, and put yourself last again? One of your adult children asks to borrow money again when they still haven't paid the full amount from the last time. What do you do?


By giving yourself permission to stay in the moment and being willing to look at every situation individually, you don't have to disappoint yourself. You can give yourself permission to renegotiate when necessary depending on the situation.


Example- By giving yourself permission to stay in the moment and be willing to look at every situation individually, you don't have to disappoint yourself. You can give yourself permission to renegotiate when necessary depending on the situation.


Example- You make a decision to never loan money again but your grandchild has a car that needs to be fixed in order for them to get to work. There is a way for you both to win. You have a conversation about the promise you made to yourself about never loaning money again, but you tell them if you do, it's a loan and make a weekly plan on how it gets paid back. This way it helps them out and makes them responsible rather than leaving it open-ended and setting them up for paying you whenever or not at all.


So in moving forward use your guidance on when the boundaries need to stay in place, or not. This will give you so much relief if you do!

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