Let’s visit what holding space is. Holding space is allowing yourself or someone else to be who they are without trying to fix them. Acknowledging that everyone deep down knows what they need and sometimes they just need to have someone witness them, period! When I am holding space I am energetically embracing how they feel because everyone is entitled to their own feelings whether you think it is right or wrong. The most important thing is having a safe container for our feelings. So many people have been living with deep trauma most of their lives and deep down they don’t feel safe to express them even to themselves. When they have a dramatic challenge or experience that seems to be a tipping point for them it’s important to have someone close that will hold space for them. Don’t assume that everyone has a person that can do that for them. If someone reaches out to you, make time to hear them out. Do not put them off to another time because you never know how deep the wound goes. For you maybe it seems like nothing but everyone is different and it’s important not to judge it. Just show up!
Holding space for ourself is a little different. Sometimes we prefer to be there for others, it’s easier. When it’s for ourself we may want to dismiss it or put it off saying it’s not that big or important. Big mistake! This just doesn’t go away on its own. It can fester like a sliver under the skin. It doesn’t hurt all the time but you know it’s still there. It will pile up until one day there is no more room to hold it and you may have an emotional meltdown. If we keep making space to clear the smaller issues within ourselves, we can clear as we go along. Our anxiety won’t build and we can find our center point much more easier. The next question may be how do I hold space for myself? I think working with the breath first is a good way to start. Breathe into those areas where you can identify holding in the body. At first it may seem very subtle. You may notice a heaviness around your heart or a tightness somewhere. Just breathe into what you notice in your body with intention to release it. It can feel like your letting air out of a tire a little at a time. Make a mental note of where these spots are and what chakras they’re in. Then bring to mind the issue at hand and just be with it. Let it come to the surface and give it a voice. There may be different aspects of you that need to speak out about it. Give them free rein until they’re done. Your job is to just witness and allow.
Don’t try to fix it in this space. A solution or reframing how you think about it may come later, but the important thing is to know if you hold space for yourself you will get relief in the moment. This will allow your mind to rest and clear a space eventually for spirit to give you a solution. When this happens healing will occur. So the next time you want to fix something for someone ask them if they just need you to hold space or are they asking for you to jump in and help? It’s important to know the difference.
Comments