Are you a fix-it person? Is it hard for you to witness someone going through something without trying to jump in and save them? Well, this is for you!
I find it personally very irritating when I'm trying to express something to a friend and they come back with their opinion or 5 ways in which they think would solve my so-called problem. Did you ever think that just listening and holding space is enough?
Holding space is a very sacred thing. It means that you are allowing me to feel safe enough that I can lean into my vulnerability to share something I need to express. If I feel safe, expressing my heartfelt feelings is a natural thing.
As a healer, I hold space all the time. Listening is one of the most precious things you can do. I find that if you listen, people will always tell you what's wrong. Especially coming for a healing session. In that environment, there's room for both. I listen first and because they are coming to me to help solve some issues, then I move onto what's next.
Holding space means you listen while sending loving energy and vibrations. You express compassion by just being silent and present. Trust me, people can feel that when you're sincere. It's palpable. You allow the other to speak and wait for their pause. The worst thing you can do is say, “that happened to me” and then make it all about you and your story. If you are a talker, pause and don't get uncomfortable with the silence. The last thing someone wants is for you to go on and on about yourself. Maybe you're holding space because it took courage for this person to come forward. You may not have a second chance to witness for them again if you blow it. When someone is finished, then you can always ask them what they need. They may say that was enough. I just wanted you to listen. If there is something they want or need, let them speak it. Remember, holding space is providing healing for them and you!