Do you have the most difficult time saying no?
Do you feel extremely guilty when you have to disappoint someone?
Do you feel that everyone else’s needs are so much more important than yours?
If so, you have BAD BOUNDARY syndrome.
Let’s face it, it is so hard to say no to those you love - your family, clients, or friends. You ask yourself, "will they get mad at me?", "Will they go to someone else?" This will only take you so far and in the end, you will disappoint the most important person in your world, YOU! By disappointing ourselves time and time again, there will be a part inside of us that will no longer trust ourselves. We end up feeling "what’s the point?"
Now more than ever, timing is so important. We need to start by taking baby steps to our end goal. If we don’t learn to say no to someone, everyone will pay the price. You will no longer have the energy to really help everyone you have made a commitment to.
Start by pausing or getting back to someone instead of answering in the moment. When you have time to pause first, you can check in to see if it is something you really want to do. If so, then ask yourself "what is the order of importance of when I want to do it?" Then follow your guidance. If you don’t want to do it, it’s better to just say no upfront. You don’t want any unbroken promises, especially to yourself! Take it from me, I’m just getting the hang of it. The thing is that when you do say yes, people will know that you're fully aboard.
Sometimes your schedule just won’t allow it. When people understand that they control their lives and their decisions in life, then they can live guilt-free, and saying no gets easier and easier.