If you're like everyone else it's hard for you to stay in the moment. It's much easier to focus on the past and what was. Why is it that we have this fascination with the past? Sometimes I think we try and imagine it as better than it was or we try to glorify it. The further back it is, the more we think it was better than it really was. It's a lot like that when someone dies that everyone knows was not the nicest person and then all of a sudden because they are dead, they start to romanticize him or her. It's quite strange to watch this.
I also see with the past the if-only syndrome. If only I did or didn't do, fill in the blank.
We start to blame ourselves for situations that were out of our control, perhaps.
We seem to get a kind of amnesia and forget the details of everything. When we take the time to really sit with the truth of what happened with all involved, it may look completely different. We want to see shades of gray instead of the truth.
Many define themselves through who they were or what they accomplished in the past and they keep spinning the tale over and over again. By looking over your shoulder into the past, you keep living through the eyes of one who refuses to create new experiences and a new persona that will take you into the future.
I suggest you allow yourself to grieve all those memories that didn't quite work out and then MOVE ON. That is the only way for you to truly be in the present moment and create new memories. Remember, we go through many lessons and learnings on this plain and your job is to learn the lessons, don't repeat them over and over again. Once you truly figure out the why of why you had to go through them, you can move on. By making better choices in the moment, it will lead you to fully claim your future.